Silver Tears Read online

  “What a beautiful home,” Ylva said in a low voice.

  “Thank you, I’m happy here. Come in. I’ve had a really shitty day, so despite the early hour, I thought I’d have a glass of wine. Do you want one?”

  Ylva nodded with a wry smile.

  “Good,” said Faye, leading her into the kitchen.

  She got out a bottle of Chardonnay, two wineglasses, and a corkscrew. Good God, she was going to be an alcoholic by the time this was all over. Her wine consumption was getting beyond all reasonable measures, but right now she needed either wine or Valium to survive. And at that particular moment, she definitely preferred a well-chilled Chardonnay. She would have to juice-cleanse when it was all over, or check herself into the La Prairie Spa in Switzerland for a week of major detox. She opened the freezer and took out a bag of ice, which she poured into a metal bucket and passed to Ylva.

  “Let’s sit on the terrace.”

  Faye poured the wine and they sat in silence, staring out across the rooftops of Östermalm while sipping their drinks.

  “Aren’t you wondering why I’m here?” Ylva asked tentatively.

  “No,” said Faye, without dropping her eyes from the view. “I assume you’re here because you’ve realized that my offer is too good to refuse.”

  Ylva nodded.

  “If you still want to hire me, then I gratefully accept the job as finance director of Revenge. And I’ve got the plan you asked for.”

  Faye felt a tingle of expectation, but first she had something even more pressing to raise with Ylva. Something that overshadowed everything else.

  “Has Jack still not been in touch with you?” she asked.

  Ylva shook her head quickly.

  “And you?”

  “No.”

  Faye’s mobile phone rang loudly, sounding across the terrace, and made both of them jump. They smiled at each other shamefacedly. Faye assumed it was another journalist and put her iPhone upside down. When a text arrived to say someone had left a message, she called her voicemail.

  “Hello, Faye, my name is Johanna Schiller and I’m married to David. I’d like you to call me as soon as possible on this number. We need to talk.”

  The voice sounded tense, almost neurotic, Faye thought to herself. Ylva stared at her quizzically.

  “Is everything all right?” she asked cautiously.

  Faye considered her answer carefully. It ought to be okay to tell her about the affair with David—after all, he was divorced…or would have been if Johanna hadn’t strung out the process. She wasn’t proud of being the other woman, but Ylva of all people ought to understand.

  She summarized the events of recent weeks and Ylva listened with an intent expression.

  “Do you have a guilty conscience?” she asked when Faye had finished her account.

  Faye thought about this for a while as she drank her wine.

  “I care about him a lot, and he feels the same way. We’re two adults. Obviously it would have been preferable if the divorce was finalized, but she refuses to let go. Are David and I meant to stay away from each other? No, I don’t have a guilty conscience.”

  Faye reached for the bottle and refilled their glasses.

  “What are you going to do? Are you going to call back?”

  Ylva nodded at the phone.

  “No. It’s not up to me to solve this. That’s for David. I don’t know exactly how much he’s told her. Unfortunately, she found out about us before he had time to say anything, but I didn’t think she knew it was me in particular that he had been seeing. Either way, what good would talking to her do? It might just make things worse.”

  She looked at Ylva with curiosity.

  “Did you have a guilty conscience?”

  Ylva took a swallow of wine. Faye admired her calm—the self-confidence she radiated. Faye’s tone had been neutral, but she really wanted to know. She suppressed the memory of Ylva and Jack’s naked bodies in her bedroom. It was surreal to be sitting with the same woman talking about the moment that had—perhaps more than any other—changed Faye’s life.

  “Yes and no,” Ylva said thoughtfully. “I mean, at times Jack made you out to be a monster, at times a doormat. And I was in love. Fuck me, I was so in love. And before I knew it, he had changed me in the same way he changed you. I didn’t even notice it. It was as if I were a toy—a hollow tin soldier with a single purpose: to make the little boy inside Jack Adelheim happy.”

  Faye nodded slowly.

  A police helicopter passed over their heads, going south.

  She got up and went to the balustrade. Ylva joined her.

  “I don’t think he ever really stopped loving you, Faye. Not even during the most, uh, passionate points in our affair. Not when we moved in together, not when I fell pregnant with Nora. That was something that was always in the back of my mind, and it bothered me constantly. I was just a substitute. For you. I think all the women he was with were a sort of attempt to find you. What you had. You were the prototype for Jack’s concept of love. That’s the ironic thing in all this mess.”

  Faye had been holding her breath while Ylva spoke, and now she cleared her throat. Her chest had tightened. She didn’t know why what Ylva had said affected her so strongly. Perhaps it was because she had already understood it but never dared to express it—not to herself or to anyone else. Now it had been confirmed to her for the first time by another person. And the other person wasn’t just anybody—it was the one person on earth who best knew Jack, second only to Faye.

  The dream returned to her again. About Jack. Him mocking her. Her weight, her weakness. But also the way he could smile at her and make her feel loved. In the dream, she still missed him, and that was the worst thing of all. She hated herself for that. But right now she couldn’t afford to think about it.

  They sat down again and Faye turned to Ylva.

  “Tell me your thinking. Is there anything to be done, or is it all too late?”

  Ylva put her feet up on the balustrade. She cracked her neck gently—an unpleasant sound that made Faye shiver.

  “Sorry, family habit,” Ylva said and laughed.

  She took her legs down and looked at Faye.

  “I’ve got some ideas. Nothing totally concrete as yet, but I need to know more first. There are still some pieces of the puzzle missing. But I’ve got one major advantage. I’ve worked with Henrik. I know how he operates. And as you know, it wasn’t Henrik who was the brain behind Compare.”

  Faye snorted loudly and resoundingly. Ylva grinned.

  “Yes, now I know that it was actually you. I didn’t know that then. At the time, I thought it was Jack. It was clearly not Henrik. The fact that he’s managed to get back on his feet—and then some—is nothing less than a miracle in my eyes. But there are lots of successful companies and fortunes that are built by people who aren’t all that gifted. Networking and luck and timing can take you a long way…”

  “Oh yes,” said Faye, sipping her wine as she listened with interest to what Ylva had to say.

  She realized she was starting to like her. And that everyone deserved a second chance. Well, maybe not everyone. But Ylva most certainly did.

  “What I know about Henrik, among other things, is that he’s sloppy. He’s got no eye for detail, which means he’s got no eye for the bigger picture. He misses stuff. Jack flew off the handle at him for that, often. We had to do a lot of damage limitation around Henrik because of all the balls he kept dropping. Don’t get me wrong, Henrik isn’t a dummy, that’s not what I’m saying. We shouldn’t make the mistake of underestimating him. And he’s got no scruples when it comes to achieving his goals. That makes him a dangerous adversary. But if there’s anywhere we can find a weak spot it’s his carelessness. I’ve skimmed the contracts for Revenge, but I’d like to take twenty-four hours to go through them line by line. An
d I’d like to check a few details with my uncle, who is a contract lawyer. One of the best. The bits I can’t make out he should be able to help me with.”

  “Kerstin and I have read the contracts too and I’ve had lawyers review them. What are you going to find that we missed?”

  “That remains to be seen,” said Ylva.

  She had stood up and was pacing back and forth on the terrace as she spoke.

  “There will be something in this entire affair that Henrik has overlooked. There are a thousand things—a thousand clauses that might throw a wrench in the works for him if he hasn’t thought of them. Or we’ll just have to…”

  “What?” said Faye smiling slyly.

  Ylva had come to life while she was talking. The grayness was gone, the fine veneer of depression had been vanquished, her eyes were sparkling, and her entire body was speaking.

  “What do you have in mind?” Faye repeated.

  Ylva stopped. She leaned against the balustrade. The wind caught her hair and swept it around her head. She smiled. A big grin.

  “I was thinking that otherwise we’ll have to make certain that Henrik has missed something…”

  Faye smiled back at her like a Cheshire cat. For the first time in ages, she felt as if she could relax. She took a deep breath. And then slowly exhaled. She realized she had forgiven Ylva. It was time to turn over a new leaf.

  It was dark inside the restaurant, but when David smiled at her, she could still see the twinkle in his eyes. Far too many days had passed since they had last seen each other. Faye’s problems with Revenge and his problems with Johanna were getting in their way.

  “You have to tell me more about the American expansion,” said David. “We’ve barely had time to discuss it.”

  He took a piece of beef tataki with his chopsticks and proffered it to her.

  “But first you have to taste this—it really melts in your mouth.”

  Faye savored the tender meat as it practically disappeared without her having to chew it.

  “God, that’s delicious. Here, for you.”

  She picked up a small lobster taco from the metal rack beside her plate and carefully placed it into his mouth.

  “The USA has been in the cards for Revenge from the very beginning,” she said. “But I wanted to take it step by step. First Sweden, then Norway, then Europe. And then finally America once we had enough to bring to the table to give us a chance. I’m fully aware of how difficult it is for a foreign company to break through over there. The obstacles are hefty, we’re competing with huge, well-established companies, and this industry is one of the most competitive out there. But that was what appealed to me from the very beginning. The challenge. So this is just an extension of that.”

  She wiped her mouth.

  “By the way, I’m going to Amsterdam this weekend with Ylva and Alice.”

  “Oh? I got the impression the three of you barely know each other?”

  “This is a great chance to change that—and you said you had a lot on with the girls over the weekend.”

  “I have,” said David. “And I think you’re right to do it.”

  He set down his chopsticks.

  “I have to admit I’m incredibly impressed by what you’ve done, everything you’ve built up.”

  Faye blushed. She’d heard it a lot, but it meant infinitely more when it came from David.

  She shrugged.

  “I can’t overlook the boost that Revenge got when Chris left me her company in her will. I’ll be forever grateful to her for that, and I’ll do everything I can to look after what she gave me.”

  “I know you are. And that you will keep doing that,” said David with warmth.

  They were interrupted by the arrival of new plates at the table.

  “Dear God. I thought you were kidding when you told me you eat like a lumberjack!”

  “Fat people are harder to kidnap,” said Faye with a smile, picking up a piece of sashimi with her chopsticks.

  David looked at her gravely.

  “I love you whatever size you are.”

  Faye stopped with her chopsticks in midair. She stared at him.

  “What did you say?”

  David cocked his head to one side.

  “You heard what I said.”

  “Say it again.”

  Faye melted under the gaze of his blue eyes as he smiled in a way that she had never seen before.

  “I love you, Faye.”

  FJÄLLBACKA—THEN

  When we went ashore, Tomas said there was a little cabin in the woods. We found it in a clearing after a short stroll. Outside, there was a fire circle and Sebastian began to set a fire. He seemed happier, more self-confident here with his friends than he did at home. He held his head higher and his actions seemed more decisive.

  I too felt different. Lighter. I was wrapping myself up in the feeling of finally being included and accepted. As it was lunchtime, we grilled some hot dogs and ate them with great pleasure. The boys drank more beer while I stuck to Coca-Cola.

  Tomas came to sit next to me. I could feel the warmth from his body and had to fight the impulse to move closer.

  “Do you remember that disgusting dough they grilled with the hot dogs on school trips when we were little?” he said.

  “God, yes. The one they mixed together from flour, salt, and water?”

  “What did they call it? Troll dough?”

  “Isn’t troll dough the one you play with?”

  “Maybe it was the same thing.”

  “Eww!”

  I laughed. I could feel the laugh reaching all the way down to my diaphragm.

  “Didn’t you like the beer?” Tomas asked, pointing at my Coke.

  “Sure, but I was starting to feel a bit dizzy,” I said, feeling embarrassed. I hid the Coke can behind my back.

  It tipped over and I leaped off the ground.

  Tomas jumped up as well, looking around for something to dry the wet patch on my skirt with, but he couldn’t find any paper. He picked up a lump of gray moss and began to rub it against the fabric, but the only result was that the stain was now wet and dirty.

  “You’re not the best at domestic stuff, huh?” I giggled, and Tomas shrugged sheepishly.

  “Is it that obvious?” he said.

  The glimmer was back in his eyes.

  Roger and Sebastian were watching us narrowly. They were talking in low voices, their heads close together. A shiver ran down my spine, but I figured it was because of the wind.

  When we had finished eating, we went over to the cabin. There was a big rusty key in the lock. I turned it and we stepped inside. There wasn’t much to see.

  “Not exactly a luxury retreat,” said Tomas, and Sebastian thumped him on the back.

  “It’s free. What were you expecting? Just because you sleep between silk sheets…”

  “Hey, watch it,” said Tomas, throwing a punch into the air. Sebastian danced away from it with ease.

  I looked around as my eyes began to adjust to the darkness. Outside, the sun was shining brightly, but inside the cabin it was pitch-black. Heavy wooden boards covered the windows. The only furnishing was a bed in one corner with a filthy mattress on it. An empty jam jar rattled as Roger kicked it. I jumped, my heart beating faster than a hummingbird’s, but I quickly calmed down.

  I wondered who had lived here. The cabin looked like it was at least a hundred years old. Had someone been able to live here? Year-round? Probably. I knew that lots of families had lived out on the islands—perhaps this little cabin had been full of children.

  Sometimes I had fantasized about living on one of the windswept islands myself. With no company except for the gulls, hollyhocks, honeysuckle, and crabs scuttling into the crevices between the rocks.

  I ran my hand along the wooden
walls, following the lines of the wood deeper into the cabin. There were two rooms. I went into the innermost one, but the smell of mold was so strong that I immediately stepped out of it again.

  “Hello?” I called out. No answer. The boys had gone outside. I went over to the closed door and pushed the handle. A shiver ran down my spine again as I realized the door was locked.

  After being picked up by a chauffeur at the airport, Faye, Alice, and Ylva spent the afternoon cooling off in the hotel’s rooftop pool. The heat wave that had hit Sweden was nothing compared with the dry, hot air in Amsterdam. They lay on their sun loungers fanning themselves, drinking margaritas, and discussing how to pass their evening. Faye was still thoughtful. She had notified her police liaison officer that she was going to Amsterdam for the weekend. There was still no news about Jack.

  “You still haven’t told us what we’re doing here this weekend, Ylva. Right now isn’t exactly the best time to be away.”

  “We’re here for plan B. A safety net. A lifeboat, as it were.”

  “I don’t give a shit why we’re here,” said Alice, sipping her margarita. “We’re lying on the roof of a building in Amsterdam. With a pool. And we’re drinking strong margaritas. Who needs a reason?”

  “Today, we chill out,” said Ylva, pulling her sunglasses down over her eyes and turning her face toward the sun. “Tomorrow, I’ll explain why we’re here. And it doesn’t matter how much booze you pour down my neck, I won’t say a word until then. So make the most of today.”

  “Hear, hear,” said Alice, taking a swig of her cocktail. “But if the plan is just to chill out and have fun today: Has either of you been to an Amsterdam coffee shop?”

  “Do you mean one of those places they sell cannabis?”

  Faye still couldn’t quite let go of her thoughts about whatever it was Ylva wanted them to do here. But she had insisted and said it was a matter of insurance. In her desperation, Faye had had to be satisfied with that. She didn’t have much choice right now other than to trust the small team she had gathered around her.